At War with Myself


According to an 8 question quiz in Psychologies Magazine, I am at war with myself. The UN don’t seem particularly interested in this civil war so I suppose I will have to initiate peacetalks with myself by myself. How will I persuade myself to have a ceasefire?

If I were at peace with myself, my day would go something like this: Get up, do yoga or meditation, have shower, get dressed, eat boiled egg and toast and drink real coffee.

Sit at desk and: Finish amendments to my novel and send to my patient copyeditor

Take rubbish out

Elevenses

Research primary texts for my Mum and Dad epistolary whatever it might turn out to be

Lunch

Walk

Read text books on writing and teaching writing, plan one of three lessons for the next week

Tea

Socialise

In fact my days go like this:

Wake up, batlle with headache and exhaustion, fight about real coffee v instant. Instant wins. Glare at yoga DVD as though it were my worst enemy. Watch the news, Lorraine, that snarky discussion programme on Channel Five. Think about moving my laptop from my desk to the sofa. Lose that battle and the will to live. Peer at myself in mirror, noting dustiness of mirror and ugliness of very comfortable pink fleecy dressing gown. Wish I was allowed to go outside in it. `Knocked senseless by unpleasant stink from rubbish bin. Glare at six shoeboxes of letters from M and D. Check the TV Guide for evening programmes. Cancel socialising in favour of soaps and thrillers that send me to sleep. Glare at Stair Accounts jobs. Read through Twitter, wondering why most of the posts are irrelevant to my life. Try to think of something witty to say on Twitter or Facebook and end up retweeting stuff I hope will make me appear supportive of the Common Weal. Realise I have only shaky understanding of what the Common Weal is.

Struggle with napping urge and lose battle to sleep. Wake up just in time for The One Show. Turn sound off and read interesting articles on internet. Remeber to check what battles are being waged on earth by watching Al Jazeera. Miss beginning of soap and stay up too late watching it on catch up.

Next day, wake up, battle with headache…

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